Sarah Lydecker (she/her)
In the 11 years I’ve been climbing, every guide I have seen working in the field or taken AMGA courses from has been a cis-man. I’ve learned a lot from these guys, but I’ve also had moments of uncertainty and questioning myself— do I belong in an industry where no one looks like me or have the lived experiences of being a woman in this profession? Heck, even finding technical equipment is challenging when gear manufacturers have historically ignored people with a body type that half the population lives in. I developed some beliefs about myself that I don’t belong in this industry because I haven’t seen other women working here and that my worth as a climber is dependent on how hard I climb, that I need to climb as hard or harder than men so people will take me seriously as a guide. I’ve been too hard on myself and not taken enough pride in my abilities. I’ve backed down in situations when I should have held my ground. I’ve shrunk back instead of sparkled.
It was really great to attend the @heyflashfoxy climbing fest in Bishop this spring. Meeting so many stoked folks + new friends, speaking with industry people who actually wanted our feedback on gear design, and meeting other professional guides who aren’t cis-men was really affirming.
I saw a place in climbing where I can exist without fighting to defend myself. I saw the deep knowledge of the guides who ran clinics and recognized that I also have the same caliber of deep knowledge and passion for teaching climbing. It was so, SO affirming to witness this! At the end of taking a big wall climbing clinic, I took some time alone to cry a few happy tears. I felt like a giant weight had been taken off my shoulders, that I was doing enough as a guide and I could see a path forward in my guiding career. It was so inspiring to be in a clinic where the instructor assumed we all had big climbing goals as well. In so many of the 82 days of climbing instruction I’ve received in the past decade, male instructors have often assumed my goals were small moderate routes (which are fun and totally valid things to climb!) It's been frustrating to want more from myself and climbing while guys ignore me and I have to find my own path forward. Sometimes that constant effort to keep showing up for myself and my climbing dreams gets exhausting.
The scholarship I was awarded came with lodging and I am so grateful for that opportunity to rest and recharge around other climbers. Being able to meet more people who love climbing and care about making it a great place for others was really special. I appreciated being able to rest and chill in community, and to be a participant instead of a facilitator. It was quite freeing to enjoy being around climbing without having to organize people or manage risk in the field. I think moving forward, I am going to prioritize having fun and resting while climbing– what a novel concept!
Since getting back from the festival, I took my renewed confidence back to work and climbing. I’ve provided mentorship opportunities to colleagues and lectured for the community, feeling less like an imposter every day.
I wish the industry was more diverse, but I feel like less of an outsider and more motivated than ever to bring excellent climbing experiences to the folks I work with.
Thank you so much Flash Foxy!!!!
